Follow Up to Recent Posts

So I broke down and let her choose her own gift.

EPIC FAIL

As I sit here, Lucifera is at her parents' house, I am sure telling them what an evil, heartless bastard she married. This was a big one, the kind of fight dreams are made of. And what was this about? Her fucking Christmas present. Yeah, you read that right, two grown adults fighting over a gift. But here's the deal, we were not fighting over something like her wanting something and I said no or anything like that. This fight was over me not telling her what I was getting her. It went a little something like this:

Lucifera: "So I will give you my Christmas list tomorrow"

Me: "That's alright I already know what I am getting you***"

Lucifera: "Well what is it?"

Me: "You will see on Christmas"

Lucifera: "NO, I want to know now, what if I don't want it?"

Me: "Well, then you can return it.....just like you have all the other gifts I have given you"

After that it was just pretty much like Ali-Frasier. I should have known this from the beginning, control freaks just don't get better. The first Christmas together when we were dating, she gave me a list of about 5 things she wanted and told me specifically that she didn't expect me to get her all of the things on the list. I bought her items three and four along with several other items that I thought she might like. HUGE MISTAKE. It was that night that I was instructed that gift lists are made in order of importance and if you are only getting two things you get numbers 1 and 2. So began a pattern of returning every gift I have given her.

Now, one thing you have to understand, I pride myself on gift giving. To give an example, my sister had a favorite song that I remembered from when I was a little kid. The song was very poignant for a time in her life a few years ago so for her 40th birthday I actually was able to get her handwritten lyrics autographed by the artist. The bottom line is, I put thought into gifts. So when I spend hours at Tiffany & Co. picking out a necklace, earrings or bracelet, I would like to hear a thank you, not "ohhh.......thanks, umm its nice and all, but......."

Whatever, maybe she just wants another helping of my soul.

***while not relevant to this post I was going to get her a new digital camera. She needs a new one because she lost her old one. We went away with some friends and went to a club. Before we went to the club she says, "Should I bring my camera out?" I say, "Probably not, we hardly ever take pictures and we will be drinking, better just leave it here" Well she brought it, took two pictures then set it down on the bar and it walked off in short order. While I know I am not always right.....

Texts from Marriage

First off, if you have not visited www.textsfromlastnight.com you need to, ASAP. While it mostly makes you wonder why your college experience was not so colorful, occasionally it is very poignant.

Today was one such day, here is the post in question:

(619): She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?

Little does this annoying fucktard know, he just described marriage. I knew I wasn't the only one out there who got the question wrong even before it was asked. But I do have some advice for Mr. (619) wherever he may be:

SHE WON'T FUCKING CHANGE. If she nags chances are you are going to want to rip your own arm just to have something to throw at her in a few years. Get a fucking helmet moron.

Why God? why?